


Bella and Edward

by VampireGuardDogs



Series: twilight headcanons - couples [1]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Cooking, Dates, Daydreaming, Daydreams, Dreaming, Dreams, F/M, First Date, Fluff, I Love You, Love, Study Date, date, ditching class, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:18:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireGuardDogs/pseuds/VampireGuardDogs
Summary: A series of headcanons about Bella and Edward's relationship.Note: chapter 11, titled "sex," deals with sex-based headcanons. That chapter is probably M rated, but otherwise all chapters should be around G. Chapter 16, titled "Honeymoon," is the same.





	1. just fell for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Come talk to me on Tumblr under the username vampireguarddogs and to see a bunch more Twilight content, including writing I don't post here and moodboards! I also accept writing requests for your favorite ship, character, or group. I love any kind of message, long or short, about my work or anything! Have a great day. :)

concept: bella falls in front of emmett, but edward catches her before she hits the ground. 

emmett, being emmett, laughs. bella glares at him but then hears edward laughing. 

she asks what’s so funny; edward won’t tell her. eventually she demands it, and edward being edward, can’t avoid giving her what she wants.

edward: “well, honey, emmett uh, emmett just had a funny thought.”

bella: “which was?”

edward looks up to glare at emmett. emmett throws up his hands in a “don’t look at me” way. edward sighs.

edward: “emmett, uh, he thought ‘damn, bella really has fallen for edward in every way, hasn’t she.’" 

bella looks offended as she stands up.

edward: “bella love, i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to laugh. please don’t be mad at me.”

bella: “dammit emmett! why didn’t i think of that?!” 

emmett bursts out laughing as he walks into the house. edward laughs and smiling down at bella, kiss her forehead.


	2. on the shelves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> college au where bella and edward keep meeting up in the library

they’re both constantly in the library. bella, because she loves working surrounded by books and constantly needs them for her research assignments. it’s also easier to use the printer and computers here then in her dorm. edward finds it easier to write when he’s not surrounded by the familiar thoughts of his family. the focused thoughts of others in the library also help.

they’re both in the same biology gen ed but edward switched his to a different time when bella walked in. nevertheless, they have the same assignment and are both in the biology section. bella waves at him but he tries to ignore her. he finds himself needing to use the books she’s grabbed. they agree to share.

another time bella needs to check out a couple of shakespeare plays to write an essay for her english class. she goes to that section and finds edward with the exact plays she needs and they are the only copies the library has. she considers choosing a new topic but refuses, and requests that edward let her get them. 

he’s so surprised this normally shy human is being so forward that he just hands her the books. she thanks him and walks off to check them out. a week later, she bumps into him in the library again and drops the stack of plays next to him. inside is a note that reads “thanks for the loan. they’re due the last day of the month. i won’t pay the fine if they’re late.” he smiles in spite of himself.

the next week bella is very clearly running late for class and fighting with the printer. edward’s sitting at a table a few feet away. he can’t read her thoughts, but it’s clear she’s having trouble. he walks by and notices she doesn’t have the money needed to pay for the essay. without looking at her, he walks by and taps his card. “this should cover it” he says, before walking out of the library. 

another time bella is sitting at a table with no less than fifteen books around her, frantically writing in a notebook. edward sees her and watches for a moment, before curiosity gets the better of him and he sits down next to her.

“what are you writing?” he asks, motioning to the books.

“creative writing story about the first world war,” bella says, without looking up. edward grins.

“need some help?” he asks.

“yeah, you can go grab these books for me,” she says, still not looking up from the notebook as she pushes a piece of paper with three book titles on it. he laughs and goes to get them for her. he then offers to read over the story for her when she’s finished. he’s absolutely amazed at her writing skill and attention to detail. she got a lot right.

another week later and edward is sittting at a table in the library, working on an essay for his music theory class with headphones in. bella sits next to him, and begins working on an essay for her history elective. they sit quietly working side by side. eventually, bella asks what he’s listening to, and they share the pair of earbuds.

it’s finals weeks at three am and bella’s in the library, frantically typing an essay that’s due at 8 am. she’s been working since 3 pm, and hasn’t left to eat or sleep. she’s almost done, so she lays her head down for a short break, and the next thing she knows it’s 7:30 and there’s a small jacket that’s not hers under her head.

she looks around and sees edward sitting next to her reading a book. in front of him is a small coffee and a breakfast sandwich.

“is this yours?,” she asks, handing him the jacket.

“it is. you looked like you needed it more than me,” he says, gently taking it from her.

“thank you,” she says shyly, turning back to her essay.

“i hope you don’t mind, but i went through and edited it for you a little. it’s really good,” he said, pushing the plate and drink towards her. “also, please eat something. you’ve been here all night.”

“thank you,” she says again, blushing and taking the food before typing up a quick conclusion, printing and leaving to turn it in.

the next day edward is in the library again, reading up for a test later that night. bella, carrying a load of books, walks by him and trips. he leaps up to help her, quickly gathering   
her books together and handing them to her.

“guess you’re always coming to my rescue,” she says, laughing. he laughs too.

“guess so,” he says.

“guess that makes you my hero,” she continues the joke.

“guess so,” he says again. “are you okay?” he asks, helping her up.

“yeah, i’m fine. guess that was just me falling for you,” she says, not letting go of his hand. edward is left speechless.

“i owe you a coffe now, don’t i? are you free now?” she asks, squeezing his hand.


	3. in love

they spend most of their time together. they have all eternity to be together, and they intend to enjoy every minute.

they’re pretty much always touching in some way, even if they’re not interacting with each other. edward will be practicing piano or studying another language and bella will be reading or writing and they’ll just be sitting next to each other, thighs touching. or she’ll lean against him, or they’ll hold hands or have their feet locked together.

they love going hunting together. bella hasn’t needed the instructions since her first hunt, but she loves the company. they’ll often challenge each other (who can catch the biggest animal, who can drain theirs the fastest, who can catch the most, etc.) they’re never really sure who wins because it usually just ends with them having sex in the forest.

edward likes to take her on various travels around the world. they especially look for sunny, remote places so bella can have her time in the sun. they both agree there’s nothing more memorizing than the other in the sun. when they go on these trips, they spend most of their days lying on the beach or elsewhere in the sun just watching each other. sometimes they talk, sometimes they’re quiet, sometimes they’ll sing to each other.

on other trips, they go to all of bella’s dream destinations. they’re trapped inside for a good part of the day, but they explore the city at night. they’ll walk around for hours, exploring all the various nooks and crannies of the city. they often go in the winter so they’ll have the most non-daylight hours available. they go to a lot of art museums; they’ve perfected the art of sneaking the short distant from their hotels to the museums without sunlight hitting them.

bella has been working on a long, long list of bookstores and libraries she wants to visit. edward promises to take her to every one, and this is often the goal of their various trips. she won’t often leave with more than a book or two, but she loves exploring and seeing how each different store is designed and laid out. sitting in the bookstore is so comforting to her. she’ll happily sit in the same store, no matter how small, from open until close looking at the different books. more than once edward has had to remind her they need to leave to “go eat” or tell her to move from the sunlight streaming through the window.

bella happily wears shorts and t-shirts 24/7. edward tells her she looks beautiful every time she walks out in a new shirt/shorts/flannel. she never gets tired of hearing it. she’s often barefoot, but has a pair of sneakers for whenever they go out in public. 

most of the time, they live separately from the rest of the cullens. they’re never too far away, but they have their own house together. edward’s spent so much time hearing others’ thoughts; it’s nice to just have his own when he’s home. he loves the simple domesticity that he missed out on for so long, and bella loves the feeling of taking care of him like he took care of her. he watches her cook all the time (she donates the finished food to the local soup kitchen.) they’ll clean the house together when needed. they bought a new piano specifically for their houses so that edward can play all the time. it’s become the background music to their life.


	4. sleeping together

they never really talked about it, it just started happening. one night edward was over at bella’s house. he came in through her window after charlie would ask him to leave; he didn’t like bella to have visitors past ten on school nights, and eleven on weekends. edward had just wanted to spend an extra hour or so with her before she went to sleep, so he asked if she would mind if he came in her window, and hang out in her room with her. she was happy for any extra moment with him, so yes, of course, he was always welcome. she never really told him to go, and he never really asked if he should leave or said he should, so he just didn’t.

bella was a little self conscious about it at first, and edward said he could leave at any time if the thought made her uncomfortable. he understood; someone watching you sleep was kind of weird when you thought about it. he offered to stay with her until she fell asleep and then leave, but she said that she felt safer and more comfortable with him there. so he stayed. 

edward would respectfully step out of the room (or at least turn around, depending on where charlie was) whenever she was ready to change into her pajamas. she’d get changed as quickly as possible, then run to the bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face, whatever else she needed to do before joining edward in her room again.

she’d say goodnight to charlie and then run back into her room, immediately leaping into the bed with her boyfriend. she would snuggle under the thick blanket she had used since childhood, and edward would cover her with an extra blanket to keep his chill from reaching her. she would be sweating almost instantly but he cooled her down almsot as fast, and soon she was grateful for the extra layers. she hated that she couldn’t actually touch him, but just his presence was comforting enough. 

edward would wrap his arms around her body encased in so many thick blankets, and hold her close. they would talk until she couldn’t keep her eyes open, and then he would sing her to sleep. the songs would very; sometimes it was whatever song was popular lately and therefore stuck in his head (it was really hard to not constantly have songs stuck in your head whenever it was stuck in everyone else’s head and you could hear that). sometimes it would be bella’s favorite songs, or ones she had grown up listening to.   
sometimes it would be songs he had written or was writing for her; he would just hum if he hadn’t created the lyrics yet.

after she fell asleep, edward would listen to her speak. it was never much; usually just whispers of names. people she missed, people she loved, people she was excited to see again. sometimes he got whispers of what she was dreaming about. this was his favorite to hear; her dreams could be so vivid and it was fascinating to hear what her mind could come up with. he always wanted to ask her what she had been dreaming about, but she usually didn’t remember or didn’t want to say the few times he had asked.  
his favorite thing to hear was his own name, or that she loved him. she said it often, every night, but it was something he never got tired of hearing.

the first thing he’d tell her after gently kissing her forehead to wake her up (a boyfriend who didn’t sleep was the best alarm) was the he loved her too.


	5. first date

edward and bella have been dating for about a month when edward realizes that he’s never taken her on a proper date before. they went to that resturant in port angeles, but that wasn’t really planned and was it even really a date? and he showed her the meadow, but they weren’t officially together just yet and does it count as a date if you’re debating whether or not to kill the other person??? for all his fretting over being a proper gentleman and going on and on about how she deserves to be treated with respect, he forgot one of the most basic aspect of having a girlfriend.

after panicking for another week, he goes to his family members for advice. alice tries to plan something incredibly elaborate, but edward nixes that idea. “sounds fun alice, but i doubt charlie will let me take her to italy on our first date.” emmett’s suggestions are a little more... aggressive than edward would like, rosalie rolls her eyes, jasper shrugs (idk maybe a movie? isn’t that what humans do?) carlisle and esme are so excited he’s asking them for advice they end up giving him a list of over 50 options. and they keep bringing more.

eventually edward just kinda ignores everyone’s suggestions and just thinks about what he knows of bella and the time they’ve spent together already. most of their time has been spent over at bella’s house watching tv, doing homework, cooking/reading, and other simple tasks. they’d sometimes watch movies together, but usually edward just kept bella company while she did whatever she needed to do, plus their time together at school.

edward asked the family if they’d mind clearing out of the house for the night so he and bella could be alone. they were fine with it; it was a good excuse to go hunting far away and have an adventure with their partners. edward spent the day cleaning up the house and making sure it would be comfortable for bella; she hadn’t really spent much time there until now, so he wasn’t really sure how to set it up. he knew what kind of snacks and food she liked, so he got a ton of everything so that she wouldn’t go hungry (he didn’t really know yet how much humans needed to eat - he probably didn’t need to get THAT much food). he grabbed a bunch of the family’s extra blankets and pillows and set up a blanket fort in the living room, around the tv.

when everything was almost set up, edward realized he had forgotten to invite bella over. he panicked and ran to her house; stopping at her window to knock before she let him in. they kissed in greeting, and then he asked her if she’d like to come over to his house for a date, and maybe spend the night. bella said of course; she went and asked charlie if she could have a sleepover with alice, and she drove over to the cullens’ house. edward had run ahead of her to finish setting up.  
she came in and immediately teared up; edward had finished the setup by stringing fairy lights all around the room, and there were flowers everywhere. he laughed a little at that, and then pulled her in for a hug and kiss. they went into the blanket fort (edward had brought in a few space heaters to keep bella warm - he made sure they were set up safely), and bella dove into the snacks that edward had set up. 

he had a big stack of movies to watch, mostly various shakespeare adaptations but also a few different rom-coms and some old disney classics, and then some random other genres. he wasn’t quite sure what she would like, so he tried to get a variety.

bella grabbed a few a let him pick between them. they watched various movies late into the night, laughing and joking through the comedies. edward loved watching bella get completely wrapped up in the disney movies; she hadn’t seen them in so long, since her last full summer with charlie. they cuddled on the pillows as they watched, just enjoying being with each other. 

bella fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. edward carefully turned the movie off, trying not to disturb her. he pulled her close and set another blanket over the two of them. he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and closed his eyes, happy to be with his love in this simple moment.


	6. ditching class

bella was running late for school. it was one of those rare sunny days when edward wouldn’t be there, so she wasn’t in much of a hurry. class wasn’t enough to hold her attention lately, and who needed high school anyway when you would just become an immortal vampire? but she had to go, if no other reason than to keep the illusion of normalcy alive.

so off bella went, grabbing her backpack off of her desk chair and slinging it over her shoulder. her keys were hanging on the hook by the door, and she grabbed them as ran out the door, quickly locking it behind her. she was halfway to her truck before she looked up and realized there was another car with tinted windows in her driveway. bella walked up to the driver’s side as the window rolled down slightly. she laughed when she saw who was inside.

“edward? what are you doing here?” bella asked. “aren’t you worried about the sun?”

“only counts if people see me,” he said, smiling at her. “get on in, my love.”

“what about school? you can’t be there today right? there are no clouds at all.”

“i never said we were going to school,” edward said, shrugging. “just because the sun’s out doesn’t mean i can’t spend the day with my sun.” bella blushed, and then walked around the car. she she climbed in, throwing her backpack into the backseat as she sat. edward backed out of the driveway and sped off down the street, heading out of the town. he used his left hand to steer the car as he reached his right hand over to hold bella’s.

“so where are we going?” bella asked as edward turned off of the main road. 

“we haven’t been to the meadow in a long time,” edward answered, flashing her his crooked grin.

“perfect way to spend the afternoon,” bella said with a grin as she squeezed edward’s hand. 

“exactly what i thought,” edward said squeezing her hand back. they rode the rest of the way in silence. once they had left the town and there was no one else around, bella rolled down her window. she kept her head tilted toward it, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. her hand hung out of the car, feeling the soft breeze as edward drove. he quietly hummed beside her, alternating between watching the road and watching bella. 

edward stopped the car at the end of the road, near the trail they usually stopped at. he ran around the car and opened the door for bella. he helped her climb out, leaving her backpack in the car. he darted around the car, popping open the trunk to grab the picnic basket that he had hidden in there early that morning. esme had helped him pick out and cook the food, and he was so excited to share it with bella, as it was his first time cooking for her.

“picnic basket?” bella asked, motioning to the basket edward was now carrying.

“of course. should’ve done that the first time around, but better late than never. do you want to hike through, or run to the meadow?”

“let’s just run; get there faster,” bella said. edward shifted his weight, allowing bella to climb onto his back. she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. he kissed her hand and then made sure she was secure before he took off. he wove between the trees, quickly covering the few miles that could have taken hours to hike.  
edward stopped at the edge of the meadow, and crouched to allow bella the chance to slide off of his back. she landed on her feet, having perfected the move after so many failed attempts. edward took her hand and they walked to the center of the meadow. he laid out the blanket, and bella sat down. she watched the sun glint off of edward’s face and arms, mesmerized as she always was by the way his skin sparkled like diamonds. as bella watched, he quickly set out the picnic food, an array of homemade sandwiches, chips, pasta salad, and fresh fruit. edward sat next to bella, pulling her into his arms as she made a beeline for the chips. 

“esme knows they’re your favorite, so she made a lot. i hope you like them,” edward said as he began to trace soft circles on her arms. 

“they’re absolutely delicious. for not eating, esme’s a great cook,” bella said, taking another handful.

“i’ll let her know. she’ll love to hear it,” edward said. “i tried to help her too. not sure how much.”

“it’s all wonderful,” bella said, grabbing a sandwich. “thank you so much.”

“sure beats sitting in trig, right?” edward asked.

“anything beats that,” bella said, laughing. “but anything is great when i’m with you,” she finished, stretching up for a kiss.


	7. attraction

the first thing that edward was attracted to about bella was how different she was from everyone.there were the little things he noticed, small details he would’ve missed if he hadn’t been paying so much attention trying to unravel her mind. 

she didn’t speak much; she preferred to sit back and listen. she would occasionally comment, carefully choosing her words, understanding the weight they could have. her smiles were rare, but when they appeared, they could light up the whole town. her eyebrows would furrow when she was deep in thought. whenever she was distracted, she would play with a strand of her long, brown hair. 

the more he observed, the more he understood. he wasn’t used to understanding people this way, having only their words, facial expressions, and mannerisms to get to know them. the more he observed, the more gratitude he felt for whatever circumstances in both of their lives had brought them here, to the same town at the same time, at this point in their lives. it was right.

bella wasn’t used to noticing those around her too much. in her old home, she found herself lost in the crowd all the time. there were constantly people around her, a lot of people, and they often blended together. she had a few friends, but even them she didn’t know too well. she preferred to stay in her own head, thinking about what she was writing or what she was making for dinner or what needed cleaning or a new book she was reading or whatever else she needed to be done.

something changed when she got to forks. she sat in the cafeteria with a group full of people who’s names she had already forgotten, figuring she would eventually catch them again as time went on. the lunch had started when a new group walked in, late. they walked straight to a table towards the back of the cafeteria and all sat together. they barely spoke to each other, though their body language and proximity to each other showed that they were quite close. this was the first strange thing.

they all had trays of food in front of them, but these trays were barely touched. some food had been shifted around, cut smaller, smaller pieces hidden by bigger pieces, different foods mixed around on the small tray. all tricks that made it look like food had been eaten, though it was clear none of the five were eating. this was the second strange thing.

all five of them looked wildly different. different hair colors, ranging from platinum blonde to black. some were short, looking like they couldn’t be much over five feet. others were tall, looking like they’d tower over everyone in the cafeteria. some had small builds, with thin limbs. others were large with thick muscles on their arms. despite these differences, they all looked so similar. their eyes were identical colors, a strange shade that looked almost golden. their skin was pale, so pale; they looked like they had never set foot in the sun. this was the third strange thing.

all of this drew bella’s attention before she even heard their names. rosalie, emmett, alice, jasper... edward. uncommon names, names that sounded like they belonged in classical novels. she had never met anyone with those names before. she was drawn to them like a moth to flame, wanting to know why they had these strange habits. 

all of this happened before they had even spoken. they felt almost like they knew each other before they had spoken. for the both of them, this had never happened before. it was all new and frightening and exciting. bella couldn’t look away, edward couldn’t look away. something had them drawn to each other, attracted to each other.


	8. i love you

edward and bella knew they loved each other long before they ever said anything. from the very first day, they each knew there was something special there, though each refused to acknowledge it. they spent their days dancing around each other, avoiding each other, knowing they would having to confront it one day but putting that day off as long as they could.

it was edward who broke first. he knew was their future could be, would be if he was brave enough to allow it. alice had forseen it, had told him it would be true. she had never been wrong before. he had been alone so long, had spent so long wanting what the others had, that now that it was in his grasp, he couldn’t ignore it any longer. he wanted to tell her from the first moment they started speaking again, but knew he couldn’t. she couldn’t feel the same way he did. at least not yet. 

so he thought it every day. every time he saw her for the first time, when she smiled at him in greeting, when he first heard her soft voice at lunch, he thought those three words. every time she crossed through his mind, which was often, the thought was always surrounded with love. he couldn’t say it yet, but god, he felt it. with every fiber of his being, with everything he knew, with everything he was, he loved her. he had never been so sure of anything in his life.

bella’s knowledge of how intense her feelings were came slower, with less help from a psychic sibling. she had certainly never felt like this, that she knew. the few and small crushes she had on whatever random boys she talked to the most back home hadn’t come close to making her feel like this. she was never more aware of how she held herself, never chose her words so carefully, never so concentrated on being careful, never more aware of another person than when she was around edward.

the more time she spent with him, around him, thinking of him, dreaming of him, the more sure she was of her feelings. she loved him. she loved him like she had never loved anyone before. she didn’t dare speak it out loud. afraid speaking it would ruin it, that everything would change once the words were out in the open. 

so she thought it as much as she could. every time she thought of edward, she instantly thought of love. every time she woke up after dreaming about him, her first thought that morning was her love. every time she tripped in front of him and he caught her, she thought of how much she loved his arms around her. every time he smiled that crooked smile, she knew she loved him. 

their first time saying it to each other wasn’t even planned. they were both thinking it, had been thinking it for a long time. but neither wanted to be the first, sure that their feelings couldn’t, wouldn’t be reciprocated. they had spent the whole day together. their feelings for each other were the first, the only thing on their mind. but only on their mind. it couldn’t be spoken out loud. something so strong had to have a breaking point, right? what if audibility caused the break?

bella was in her bed, mostly asleep. edward was with her, finally; she was in his arms, where she always wanted to be. the night was like any other night. she slept, dreaming and occasionally murmuring words as the images flashed through her mind. she hadn’t thought of this when asking edward to stay, hadn’t thought that the words that had been on her mind for so long would no longer be safe, that she wasn’t in control as she slept. 

edward heard her say the words “i love you,” so clearly. he thought she had woken up, or had never fallen asleep in the first place and had been wrestling with saying the words. but her breathing never wavered, her eyes didn’t open. she was fast asleep. but she had spoken so clearly, with such confidence. she had never sounded so sure of anything in the short time he had known her. he hadn’t heard such confidence in a feeling from any human.

he spent the rest of the night holding her close, memorizing every part of her. the soft curve of her lips, the way they hovered ever so slightly open as she took soft breaths. the gentle lines of her eyelashes, thin but dark against her pale skin. the light dotting of freckles across her nose, so faint even he barely noticed them. the fragile nature of her skin as it pressed to his, the roughness of her knuckles, the scent of her hair as it brushed alongside his face.

she woke up that morning slowly, surprised to find edward still there. she couldn’t have been happier to see him; she rolled around and looked deep into his eyes again examining his face as he looked at her. he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, on each cheek, on her lips before wrapping his arms tighter around her slim frame, pulling her carefully even closer to his body as they lay in the small bed. he placed his lips near her ear, and whispered the words that had been on his mind since very first day she looked at him, “i love you.”


	9. daydreaming

“if i could dream at all, it would be about you*,” edward said, tucking a lock of bella’s hair behind her ear and placing a soft kiss on her forehead and then her lips. he squeezed her hand goodbye before ducking out into the early, still dark morning. he was leaving earlier than he usually did, as alice had predicted a sunny day and he had to get home before the sun rose. bella stood at her window, watching him as he walked into the cover of the surrounding woods so he could run home. when she could no longer see him, she turned back to bed, hoping to steal a few more minutes’ sleep before she had to start her day.

edward ran through the forest, following the familiar path home. he had taken it so many times by now that he didn’t have to think about it. it wasn’t long until he was walking into the cullen house. he waved to esme and carlisle, who were sitting on the couch watching a movie. no one else seemed to be home; his parents were the only ones he could hear. he walked up the stairs to his room and laid down on his couch before turning on his stereo, letting the gentle music fade into the background. he did this whenever he wanted a moment without everyone else’s thoughts.

he checked his watch. bella would just now be leaving for school; it would be hours until he saw her again. usually, time meant nothing to him. what were a few hours when you knew you had eternity? but the hours without her felt like centuries and he didn’t know how he would fill the time until he could hold her again. he became like a statue on the couch, not moving a single muscle. his eyes slid shut, his breathing slowed. he placed a pillow over his eyes to block out the light. it didn’t help much, but it was something. he laid on the couching thinking. as always, the only thing on his mind was bella. the way she laughed at his jokes, the way she looked at him, the way she bit her lip when she was concentrating, the way she would absentmindedly play with her hair. his lips slid into a small smile. “if i could dream at all...” he murmured to himself as his mind wandered off, as it so often did, to bella.

they were spending the day in the meadow, a bright, sunny day. edward was laying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head as a pillow. bella was laying with her head on his chest, holding a textbook over her head. she was reading the chapter out loud, trying to study for their upcoming midterms with edward’s help. she would occasionally stop and ask questions as she read. she eventually finished the chapter and set the book to the side, rolling over onto her stomach so she was looking at edward. he opened his eyes and smiled, adjusting his body to wrap his arms around her. she curled into his side as he placed a kiss on top of her head, pulling her closer. 

they were at bella’s house, and she was cooking dinner for herself and charlie. edward was helping, or at least trying to. it had been a long time since he had cooked or eaten; he was never really sure of what to do. esme had tried to teach him, but he hadn’t found it necessary to learn. so bella was patiently showing him how to cut an onion, to begin making spaghetti sauce. she rest her hand on his as she showed him how to hold the knife and make the careful cuts that would keep the onion from separating as it was cut. she began to cut garlic next to him, laughing as she did so. he rolled his eyes and then smiled too, making a show of pretending to be allergic to it. bella laughed harder, setting down the knife as she watched him joke around. he pulled her into a hug, kissing her as her laughter subsided before they both went back to cooking.

they were in edward’s car, driving somewhere, the destination didn’t matter as much as the company. bella sat in the passenger sea as he drove. they were trading various questions back and forth, each asking the other about their childhoods, their likes, their dislikes, various experiences, about the people they had known. most of it was stuff that the other already knew, but they loved to hear it again, to see how their opinions and thoughts evolved over time. bella loved to hear stories about edward’s life as a human and then through the decades as a vampire; he had so many fun stories to tell from years past. edward loved to hear stories about bella’s childhood - what it had been like, the classes she’d enjoyed, the various hobbies her and renee had tried, what it had been like spending summers with charlie in a younger forks. the time would pass quickly when   
they were together like this, edward driving with one hand on the wheel and the other holding bella’s, her in the passenger seat, laughing with him.

edward snapped back to reality as the sound of a slamming door woke him from his daydreams. the sound of the door and the subsequent footsteps on the stairs were too loud, too slow to belong to any of his siblings. he smiled in relief as her scent hit him, right before she opened the door and walked in. she dropped her backpack on the ground next to the door, before walking to the couch to hug him in greeting.

“hey,” bella said as he pulled her in close. 

“hey yourself,” he said back, pressing his nose to her head, grateful she was with him again. “i missed you,” he said, hugging her tighter before quickly kissing her.

“so what did you do all day?” bella asked as he pulled them both onto the couch, angling her so she was sitting in his lap with his arms around her. if he could have, he would   
have blushed.

“just spent it laying around daydreaming,” he said, looking away, smiling his crooked smile.

“about what?” bella asked, her cheeks reddening as he turned back to her, looking her in the eyes.

“just about the girl of my dreams,” he said, kissing her again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *direct quote from twilight by stephenie meyer


	10. night

night was their favorite time to be together. during the day, there were always too many people around them for them to ever feel alone. they’d be at school, surrounded by their fellow students. or they’d be at the cullen house, surrounded by their chosen family. they were often at bella’s house, but even then charlie was almost always around. he was often hovering, trying to keep them from getting too close. 

but at night? at night they could only be with each other. most of the time, they were at bella’s house. charlie would be there, but sleeping, blissfully unaware of the fact that his daughter’s boyfriend stayed over almost every night. other nights they would stay at the cullens’ house. on these nights, the rest of the family would be out hunting or doing other activities, leaving the house truly empty except for edward and bella. 

they didn’t waste their nights together at all. once they started dating, and this became more of a regular thing, bella began sleeping much later than usual. she sometimes wouldn’t get up until noon, often even after that. she still had to wake up early for school, so she would often nap when she got home. this way, she could stay up later with edward.

they didn’t do much at night, often would just lay together. they may speak, they may not. if they did, it would be in quiet whispers, gentle words spilling out of cautious mouths. they loved to talk in these nighttime hours, when it felt like they were the only two people in the world. they would talk about their future together, what they planned to do, how it would be affected if bella changed, or if she didn’t. sometimes they talked to lighter topics, like what they had done at school that day or what they wanted to do that weekend, or simply getting to know the other better.

sometimes they would simply cuddle together, enjoying the innocent feel of the other’s body alongside their own. legs curled together, fingers softly tracing patterns onto exposed arms, one heart beating hard enough for the both of them. edward liked to play with bella’s hair when they were together like this; she would close her eyes and enjoy the relaxing   
sensation. they would sometimes watch movies on edward’s laptop or listen to new albums together, curled up in bed, each sharing on earbud so that they couldn’t be overheard. 

when bella was ready for sleep, edward would quickly set everything on the floor before pulling her into his arms and beginning to hum her lullaby.


	11. sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not super explicit, probably close to an M rating.

their relationship wasn’t very physical for a long time. mostly chaste kisses and soft hugs, cuddles late into the night. but rarely more than that. edward was always scared of losing control, of possibly hurting bella, that he didn’t want to go any further. each time they kissed, each time they touched, each time she looked at him with that look in her eyes, he had to stop, to pull away, to reign himself back in until he was more in control of himself. he wanted her so badly, but he couldn’t do anything about it. not now anyway, not when she was so human, so soft, so breakable, so fragile.

so when she was finally changed, and they could both give into their desires without fear of hurting the other? all they could do was make up for lost time. 

their first time was the night bella first woke up as a vampire. her first though upon waking was how strange everything was now. her second thought, and every thought after that,was of edward. they did whatever was needed throughout the day, making sure bella knew the basics of being a vampire and could be in control of what she was now, waiting until night, until they could finally be alone.

they were led to their new house once the moon rose, and it was finally dark. the family had wanted to spend the day together, helping bella, getting to know her in this form, but knew that edward and bella would want their... time alone. so, night, like always, was reserved for the two to be together. 

they went fast, running through the forest to get to their house as quickly as possible. they held hands as they ran, the connection not slowing them but only speeding them along. as soon as they were inside, they were together. arms tight around each other, their mouths together, clothes already being tugged off or apart.

they stumbled their way to the bed, unable to keep their hands off each other any longer. bella’s hands trailed up and down edward’s torso and back, her more-sensitive fingers now all the more appreciative of every texture and feel of his skin. edward’s mouth was on her neck, the one place he had always longed to touch but never felt like he could. they were moaning at the contact, not aware until now how good everything could feel, unaware of so many sensations. 

everything was new, all so new. bella didn’t know what it could be to be touched like this, to feel wanted like this. edward didn’t know what it could be to touch her like this, to feel her react to his hands, his lips, his tongue. he didn’t have to hold back anymore. she wanted him, and he wanted her, more than he had ever wanted anything.

they weren’t seen for a few days after that night. they spent most of the time exploring the other’s body, seeing all the new ways they could enjoy each other. they lost track of how long they spent together, unaware of how long they had been alone. they didn’t care; this was all they wanted.

they calmed down slightly after their first time, but they never failed to appreciate all they could do now. the wait was worth it, but nothing beat the fact that they didn’t have to wait anymore.


	12. calming

after new moon, bella still had nightmares. they didn’t happen every night anymore, but they happened often enough that edward knew about them. bella did her best to keep them from him, asking him to stay away if she knew it would be a bad night. but she couldn’t predict every night and there wasn’t much she could do when she was sleeping. she would try to avoid screaming herself awake, but she couldn’t stop herself from shaking and whimpering.

edward never really knew what to do when she was like this. the one time he was speechless, clueless, was the one time she needed him the most. but he couldn’t get over the fact that she never had problems like this until he had left her. he knew he was to blame for making her like this. 

he wouldn’t wake her when these events happened, afraid of what she would say, afraid of hurting her further. she would wake up on her own, whenever she was ready. he would softly rub circles on her arm over the comforter, hoping the soothing action would help calm her, in whatever small way.

all she needed to know what that he was there. she didn’t need many words from him, those could be too easily broken. she just needed to see him, to feel him in her arms. she couldn’t lose him if she could see him and hold him. he’d hold her tight, as tight as he could. he wasn’t going anywhere this time. he wouldn’t leave until she asked him too.

“edward, edward,” she murmured late one night, after beginning to whimper from yet another nightmare. it had been a bad week. she wanted edward to stay away, not wanting to see her like this. but it had been happening most every night, and she couldn’t take it alone again. she needed him. she kept saying his name, even when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. she couldn’t snap out of it this time.

“bella. bella baby. my sweet bella. love, i’m here,” edward said, beginning to whisper in her ear. she never took this long to wake up, and it was scaring him more than he could say. “i’m here, i’m here,” he repeated like a prayer, hoping she could understand.

“for now,” bella said, still asleep. the words crushed edward, knowing that was a promise he had once broken.

“please baby, wake up,” edward asked, his eyes wide with worry. he began softly, repeatedly kissing her cheek and squeezing her hand, hoping the gentle movements would wake her.

“edward?” bella asked, opening her eyes. she looked around unsure of what was happening. the nightmare was already fading to the back of her mind, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of terror that as flooding through her. she had been alone, so alone...

“bella bella bella, baby,” edward said in relief. “what happened? are you okay? bella, please talk to me,” he pleaded.

“edward?” bella asked again. she could feel his arms around her, but just barely. it wouldn’t feel right until she could see him. her eyes hadn’t adjusted yet.

“i’m right here,” edward said, tightening his grip on her. she turned her head, able to just see him. he loosened his grip just enough so she could fully turn so she was facing him, and then instantly tightened his arms again. she buried her face in his chest. he began running his fingers through her hair, trying anything to begin calming her.

“edward,” she said again, her voice muffled in his body.

“right here. i’m right here with you, where i belong,” he said, his hand stilling on her neck, fingers still tangled in the long strands. 

“please stay,” she asked, so quiet even he could barely hear her. she tilted her head up, looking at him.

“as long as you want me,” he said, kissing her forehead. he began singing her lullaby, adding the words he had written the first day he had come back, when he could finally be with her again. bella fell asleep again almost immediately. she didn’t move again from edward’s arms all night.


	13. impatient

edward ran back to the house, fresh from hunting with his brothers. they were immediately put to work by alice, who had then continuing to lay out flowers and set the tree-trunk pews she had special ordered in place. even with their super speed and strength abilities, there was a lot of work to be done in time for the wedding. edward knew he should help his family; it was his wedding after all, but he couldn’t help himself from trying to sneak in to see her. but before he could, his sister met him at the door.

“absolutely not, edward,” alice said, holding up one and reaching to push him back off of the porch. edward sighed and quickly searched her mind, looking for any thoughts on bella. but she was decidedly not thinking of anything about bella; not how her styling was coming along or anything she had said or how she had looked that morning. there was no hint in her mind of how bella was doing. edward had to check in, just to know that she was okay and to let her know that he was okay.

“alice, please,” he asked trying to walk around her to get into the house. she kept looking slightly ahead, able to jump in front of him right before he moved there. he tried to push around her, but that was impossible when she was much stronger than she looked.

“not today, edward. do not cross me,” she said, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to stay still. “bella is completely fine, and i will let her know that you are back. but you,” she added, pointing a finger in his face, “will stay out here and help continue setting up. lots of work to do, and i don’t have the time to play keep away. get. back,” she finished, her lips curling into a snarl as she growled at him. 

“okay, okay,” edward said, throwing his hands up as he backed away.

“good,” alice said, smling sweetly. “esme needs help with the flower arrangements. ask her what she needs. esme, please keep an eye on him! i can’t keep chasing him away.”

“yes dear!” esme called, grabbing another arrangement of flowers. but alice was already gone, having darted back into the house and up the stairs to do... whatever it was she was doing to bella. edward sighed as he glanced up at the house, wishing his superior sight allowed the ability to see through walls. he just wanted to see her; he hated being away from her for any length of time. he smiled softly, knowing that soon they woudn’t have to be apart much longer, or ever again. 

he couldn’t shake the nerves as he went to help esme, gently laying out various flower arrangements on the pews, the altar, along the aisle and stairs, in any free space. they weren’t quite nerves, he knew. he had never been less nervous, or more sure of anything in his life. he couldn’t wait to marry bella. and that was the problem. he couldn’t wait. no matter what he did to occupy the time. it inched by, incredibly slowly. he felt every second that ticked by; each one felt like another year he had waited for her. 

thankfully, there wasn’t that long before the wedding. they had timed their little hunting trip so they would arrive an hour before the wedding, giving them plenty of time to change into their suits and clean off anything. after jasper and emmett changed, they went to help finish setting up. edward waited until the last minute to get dressed, knowing that wearing the suit would push his impatience worse. 

at ten minutes before go time, alice yelled down at him to go get dressed. guests had already started arriving, and they would notice if the groom wasn’t clothed properly. he sighed, darting into the house and up into his room. he noticed that alice had firmly shut and locked the door to her room, knowing he would try to sneak a peak at bella before the ceremony. he pulled on his suit quickly. and then sat and waited. 

this was the worst. he had nothing to do now, no way to occupy his time. he tried playing a few of bella’s favorite songs, hoping the small connection would make the wait easier. they didn’t help. he began pacing the large room, wearing a small path in the carpet. he could think only of bella: what did she look like today? what was her dress? how was she doing? did she need anything? was she as impatient as he was? 

at five mintues until, alice told him to get downstairs at the altar. he darted down the stairs, forgetting for a moment that he needed to act human for the next few hours. he groaned before looking around him. he knew renee and charlie were in the house, but they were thankfully still waiting in alice’s room with bella. he nodded to rosalie, who had just taken her seat at the piano.

“she looks beautiful, edward,” she said, dancing her fingers over the keys, checking they were in tune before she began playing in four minutes’ time.

“of course she does,” edward said, unable to help the smile that broke across his face. she rolled her eyes and then smiled, motioning for him to go on. he hurried out of the house and to his spot next to the minister, a little faster than he should have. he hoped no one noticed; but he didn’t have the mental space to think of anyone other than bella. he waited at the altar, bouncing on his feet, unable to stop fidgeting. vampires were never restless, never had excess energy to release. but edward was proving that theory wrong. emmett, standing next to him in the traditional spot of best man, laughed and lightly punched edward on the shoulder. edward looked back to him, glaring.

rosalie began to play. edward snapped back to facing forward, his eyes on the top of the stairs, waiting to see bella. finally, finally, finally he could see her. she was making her way down the stairs, staring at the ground. edward laughed, knowing how likely it was she was worried about losing her balance. but no one would let her fall on this day. she was safe. 

he watched as she began to step out of the house and down the porch steps, before she looked up and finally made eye contact with him. she smiled, the look of utter happiness taking up her whole face. edward couldn’t help but smile back, bouncing again on the soles of his feet, unable to wait to take her into his arms. charlie carefully passed bella into edward’s arms, his hands resting gently on her where they belonged. he smiled again as he reached up to wipe a tear from bella’s eye. he laughed as he wiped it away, before turning their attention to the minister to begin their ceremony. if he didn’t know better, he could have sworn he felt a tear fall from his own eye.


	14. Birthdays

After becoming a vampire, birthdays changed for Bella and Edward. Bella have never really cared about her own, viewing it as just another mark that she was getting physically older while Edward… wasn’t. So she barely let it be acknowledged, doing the bare minimum for Charlie and ignoring it for everyone else. It didn’t matter to her. All she wanted was to spend time with Edward, to be with him in every way possible before becoming just like him. He wanted to use the day to celebrate her, but that wasn’t what she ever wanted. So he did his best to ignore the day, trying to treat it like any other. 

Edward’s birthday was never brought up. He didn’t really care to share his actual, human birthday. It had been so long since he felt the need to celebrate it, or anything really. He remembered all too clearly the day he had become a vampire, but that wasn’t exactly something he wanted to celebrate, for any reason. He refused to tell anyone the day. He kept it to himself, not wanting to celebrate the day he had become a monster.

But Bella was happier in her new life than she had ever been, in any way. So her birthday truly became a day of celebration. As a vampire, she felt stronger, more secure than she had ever been. Her human birthday and transformation date were so close, that they just celebrated both of them together, but in different ways. 

On her vampire birthday, Alice would throw a party for the whole family. Any of the wolves that wanted to make it and could come were invited as well. Even Charlie would come if he could get the time off of work to come out to wherever the Cullens were currently living at that time. Alice always invited any of the friends they had made while in school that year. It was a huge affair, with Alice filling the house with lights, flowers from Esme’s garden, and so many other decorations. Esme and Bella would spend days before the party cooking and baking to create a huge spread for their guests that could eat. Bella hadn’t quite gotten over her dislike of attention, but she always loved spending as much time as possible with her friends and family.

Her human birthday a few days later was a much quieter affair. Her family would celebrate and give her gifts at the party, so this day was just for her and Edward. They would ditch work or class or whatever was planned for that day, knowing they didn’t care to do anything that didn’t involve the two of them together. 

Edward would take her to a variety of places over the years. Sometimes they went back to Forks where they had met so many years ago. They would sit in their meadow for hours on end, lying together, talking, laughing, enjoying the feel of each other. If they didn’t want to be outside, or they didn’t have enough sun, they would spend it at the Cullens’ house instead. They kept a few small, simple furnishings there, including a piano. They would spend the day laying around the house, on the couch or in bed, watching movies and spending time together. Sometimes they’d go to other places they had lived over the years that had had some kind of significance: where they had had their first wedding anniversary, back to Isle Esme where they had spent their honeymoon, any other house where they had celebrated so many other milestone anniversaries. They had gathered a variety of special places over the years, and the greatest gift was to revisit any of them with Edward.

They never did much in the way of gifts. Bella still didn’t like Edward spending money on her too often, and she would always tell him he had already given her everything she could ever want: an eternity together. The time alone with him was all she wanted every year. He would argue that this didn’t really count because she could have that any day of the year. So he would usually give her something he had made. He’d play her a new song he had written for her, or give her a CD of them; occasionally a poem or a few he had written for her, carefully written in his calligraphy and framed; once in a while a painting Esme had helped him make. Bella loved every single one; she kept each gift in their house wherever they were living at the time.

It wasn’t until decades later that Edward told Bella when his birthday was. After spending so much time alone, he was so happy to have someone to be with, and felt more connected and comfortable with his family. He finally felt like there was something about him to celebrate.

Every year on his birthday, they would spend the day alone together in their house. It was just the two of them; he didn’t need celebration from anyone else but Bella. He also wasn’t much for receiving gifts, but she’d tell him it was quite hypocritical of him to not accept gifts from her when he asked her to accept gifts from him. She would also go the homemade route, never sure what she could buy him that he didn’t already have. Edward preferred homemade gifts anyway. 

Every year, she would present him with a short story she had written that would tell the story of one of their days together, full of her thoughts about the day. It would be handwritten in a book that Bella had bound herself. Esme would help her add illustrations and cover art. Edward would ask her to read it to him, showing him the pictures as she read. He kept every single one, setting them all on a special bookshelf that he carried with them from house to house. He reread them often, whenever he missed her. The best gift was getting to keep a piece of her with him always.


	15. Partners?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which renesmee could be a great plot point if smeyer had half a brain cell

Bella was quiet their whole journey home. She didn’t speak a single word on the boat ride, in their taxis, even on their flights. Not to Edward, not to their drivers or flight attendants. She was too lost in her thoughts, too concerned about herself and her baby. She couldn’t think of anything to say to Edward or anyone, though she barely noticed they were speaking to her.

Edward, for his part, barely noticed Bella’s silence. He was too lost in his own thoughts, his own worries. He spoke only as needed, quickly clipped sentences to whoever needed information from him before drowning in his own mind again. He didn’t try to speak to her. What could he say? What words of apology, of comfort, of reassurance when comfort was the farthest thing from his mind? Nothing he could say could fix it. He would just do what he could to stop it, and then hope they could be repaired.  
Everything changed when they arrived at the airport and saw the rest of their family. Edward was too consumed in guilt and anger at himself to notice when Bella wasn’t at his side anymore. She had run to Rosalie. And her thoughts told Edward all he needed to know. He snarled in fury, thankful that the airport was far too crowded for the sound to be heard.

They took seperate cars back to the house. Bella rode with Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett. Carlisle drove Edward and the others home. Edward sat in the backseat, his head in his hands. He had refused Jasper’s offer to help with his mood; he deserved to suffer. All he could think of was how he had hurt Bella. He couldn’t understand why she had turned to someone else. He had always promised to be there for her, to be her partner in all things. Had he finally hurt her enough that she couldn’t trust him anymore? Was her anger that strong?

Carlisle drove back to the house slowly; the others beat them there. When they walked in, Bella was already sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her fragile shoulders. Edward couldn’t help but think she already looked smaller, more breakable. Like she had already been hurt and hadn’t realized it yet. She stiffened when Edward walked in, turning to Rosalie. She went to stand behind the couch, one hand on the back of it on either side of Bella’s head. It was Carlisle who spoke first. 

“We need to have a family meeting about this,” he said, looking nervously from Edward, to Bella, and then finally to Rosalie. 

“I think that would be best,” Bella murmured, speaking for the first time in nearly a day.

“No,” Edward growled, glaring at Rosalie before softening his gaze and looking to Bella. “I would like to speak to you alone, please,” he asked her, his eyes pleading. Bella looked nervously at Edward, then back to Rosalie. A silent agreement passed between them.

“Over my dead body,” Rosalie hissed, stepping around and then in front of Bella.

“That can be arranged!” Edward shouted, stepping until he was right in front of Rosalie, his eyes blazing as he glared at her. She snarled, reaching out a hand to push him back. Bella whimpered. Edward stumbled backward, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm himself. Rosalie stepped back too, placing a hand on Bella’s shoulder. As Edward watched, Bella’s eyes watered and tears began to fall. He fell to his knees on the floor in front of her. 

“Rose, everyone, I would like to speak to my husband alone, please,” she said, she was trying hard to keep her voice study, but it broke towards the end.

“Bella, I really don’t think…” Rosalie started to say, before Bella looked at her. She stopped, waiting for Bella to explain.

“He won’t hurt me. We need to talk,” she said, her gaze flicking to Edward and then back to Rosalie. “Stay close in case I need you,” she added, almost as an afterthought. They looked at each other for a long moment, until Rosalie nodded. She left the house to wait in the forest nearby. The rest of the family followed her, leaving Edward and Bella alone. She waited until then to speak.

“How dare you?” she seethed, her fury filling the room. 

“I know, I know,” Edward said, staring at the ground. “I’m so sorry. I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I just… I didn’t even think… Carlisle said it wouldn’t be possible…”

“Not that,” Bella snapped, cutting him off. “No one could have predicted that. How dare you try to make this decision without asking my opinion on the matter. This is our baby,” Bella shouted. Edward leapt to his feet.

“It’s hurting you, Bella! We don’t know what it is!” he shouted, unable to hide his fear and anger anymore.

“It’s still my body! It’s my choice! You didn’t even have the decency to ask me how I felt about it,” Bella yelled. She swung her legs over the edge of the couch as if to stand, but didn’t. “There are seven vampires in this house, Edward. One is a doctor,” Bella said, her voice softer now. “We’ll keep an eye on me, watch the fetus grow. I’m not hurting too badly now. If it gets to be too much, we can fix it then,” she added, her voice cracking. “But you will not make this choice without me.”

“What if it’s too late to save you?” Edward asked. His voice was even, but it was easy to see how hard he was fighting to keep it that way.

“Then it’ll be like all the other times your existence put me in danger,” Bella said, her eyes blazing. Edward couldn’t move; he stood as frozen as a statue. 

“Edward, I know we can do this,” Bella said, after a few breaths to calm herself. That last blow hadn’t been fair, and she knew it. “You’ve saved me every time. This won’t be any different. But I can’t, I won’t do it alone. And I love Rose, but it’s you I want by my side, she said softly, leaning forward and reaching a hand out to Edward. He hesitated, then took it before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her.

“Partners?” he asked, taking her hands again and kneeling on the floor. He stared into her eyes, trying to let her know all was forgiven; he was sorry. He would do all he could to be there for her. He wouldn’t be angry anymore.

“Partners,” Bella agreed, squeezing his hand.


	16. Honeymoon

They spent the first night of their honeymoon being slow, careful. Edward was terrified of hurting Bella, but he couldn’t deny he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. They stood together standing in the water for a long time, staring at the patterns the moonlight made on their skin as it glinted off of the surface of the water. Edward held Bella close, his hands gently touching all over her body, testing himself as the night went on. She leaned into him as he did this, her hands touching him back, trying to help him get used to the feel of her on his naked body.

Eventually, he lifted her out of the water and carried her into the house, slowly walking into the bedroom where they would spend the rest of their night. They kissed the whole walked, their tongues twisting together as they began to get more physical than they had been previously. Her hands were free as they walked; she intertwined them around his neck, pulling his mouth as close to hers as she could. He resisted her pull at first, his earlier instincts to avoid going further hard to erase from his mind. He gave in, nervously but happily reminding himself that this was safe, something she wanted. She trusted him to keep her safe. He could do anything with her trust.

Edward sat on the bed, pushing himself to the center as Bella adjusted herself on his lap so that she was straddling him. They continued to kiss, strengthening their holds on each other as their kiss deepened. Edward tangled his fingers into Bella’s hair, careful not to pull too hard on it. Bella busied herself by running her hands all up and down Edward’s body: through his hair, tracing the lines of his jaw and neck, up and down his chest and stomach, skimming the tops of his thighs. He moaned at her touch, his hands reaching down to still hers.

“Careful, love,” he murmured, lifting her hands back around his neck as he shifted so that he was kneeling in front of her. She sighed, throwing herself down onto the mattress, her head resting on the pillows behind her. He hovered over her, pressing himself onto her slightly so she could feel him without his weight hurting her. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment; Bella smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck again. He smiled his crooked smile before leaning down to softly kiss her neck, trailing his mouth over her shoulders and down onto her breasts, carefully kissing and stroking them while she moaned beneath him. 

Her hands slid from around his neck and down his back, tracing the lines of his shoulder blades and muscles.he again groaned at her touch, the sound buried in her skin as he continued to kiss her. Growing more sure of himself and his control, he began to move one hand down the soft of her body, over the curve of her hips until he was able to feel between her legs. He carefully added pressure, adding another finger as she writhed beneath him. She eventually cried out as she came, pulling him back to her, eager for another kiss. He happily obliged, moving to cradle her face between his hands, adjusting so he was kneeling, straddling her waist.

“Remember, please tell me if it’s too much,” Edward murmured in her ear, his voice full of worry. “I don’t want to do anything wrong,” he added, kissing her again. She sighed in contentment against his lips, lazily opening her eyes to smile up at him, her face an expression of utter joy and love. 

“Trust me, you are doing everything right,” she said, moaning again as she felt him press against her. “Please, I need you,” she begged, trying to pull him back to her. He did so gratefully, burying himself in her again and again.

“Anything you want, Mrs. Cullen,” he murmured against her neck, sucking as softly as he could just below her ear. She gasped as she came again, bringing him to his peak as well.

They laid cuddled together in the bed afterwards, Bella resting her head on Edward’s chest, the blankets discarded somewhere around them. Edward ran his hands through Bella’s hair, softly beginning to untangle the feathers that had gotten tangled in it before they got stuck. She sighed in her sleep and rolled over, pressing her cheek into his arm. He wrapped it tightly around her, pulling her as close as she could as she whispered “I love you,” over and over, lost in sleep.


	17. New Year's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the Taylor Swift song of the same name

The day after the big party. Alice had wanted to throw a New Year’s party, their first as a family since Bella had joined and they didn’t have any looming threats. The party had taken place in their new house; Edward and Bella had moved out alone after the family relocated from Forks. Everyone else was long gone; having gone back to their own houses or elsewhere to celebrate the holiday on their own. The two were left alone in their house, the remnants of the party filling their small living room. There were empty cups and bottles from their human guests; of course Alice had immediately made friends at their small college and invited them along. Bella sat on the couch, looking at the mess on the floor of fallen pictures, confetti, and glitter from the dress Alice had insisted she wear.

“Want to help me clean up?” Edward asked, laughing as he surveyed the mess, beginning to throw some of it into the trash bag he carried.

“Anything with you,” Bella responded, getting off off the couch and picking up a few cups on her way to him, gently kissing him before continuing to clean the room.

They finished cleaning the room; Edward ran the trash bags outside and ran back in to sit next to Bella on the couch again. She curled into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He sighed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He took one of her hands in his, gently squeezing it three times. Bella smiled, turning to kiss him.

“I love you, too,” she said, before settling back into his side.

They stayed on the couch for a few hours, curled together. Bella had her head resting on Edward’s chest, with his arms around her.

“Remember all the nights we spent in Charlie’s house, laying on your bed like this?” Edward asked, tightening his arms around her.

“Of course; I remember everything about us. They’re some of my favorite memories,” Bella said, adjusting so she could wrap her arms around him, pulling him closer to her as he bent down for a kiss.

Bella stood in the kitchen, stirring a pot of chili on the stove. Nessie was coming for a visit later that day, and Bella liked to have plenty of food options ready when she came over. She hadn’t lost her love of cooking after becoming a vampire, and loved the chance to practice new recipes. Edward walked into the kitchen, leaning against the door as he watched Bella, deep in concentration as she studied the cookbook. He snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. She gasped in surprise, dropping the spoon before she burst out laughing, twisting out of Edward’s arms to playfully slap him on the shoulder.

“You jerk! I was working on something!” she said, laughing again as she pulled him in for a hug. He had been gone all day picking up a few things for their daughter; she couldn’t deny how happy she was to see him.

“I just wanted to say hi,” Edward said laughing along with her. “I love your laugh; I could recognize it anywhere,” he added, as she leaned in to kiss him.

It was much later that night. Nessie had left earlier, with a few gifts from her parents in tow. The house had been cleaned, all dishes put away. It was quiet. Edward sat in their room, softly playing his piano as Bella lay on their bed reading a book. They spent most nights like this now; it was their way of winding down from whatever they had done that day. They could stay like this for hours, with Bella occasionally requesting a specific song or reading a part of her book out loud, if she particularly liked the phrasing. They started doing this a long time ago, once they got adjusted to their new life as married vampires. They were happiest living separately from the rest of the family; it was the only way they could be fully alone. Edward stood up from the piano as the clock struck midnight, setting his sheet music to the side and walking to the bed where Bella sat. She closed her book and set it on their nightstand, stretching her arms out to pull him close to her.

“Did you have a nice night?” she asked, as he began to kiss her neck.

“Absolutely,” he murmured against her skin. “But I can think of a few things I’d rather do now,” he added.

“I want you,” Bella said, giggling as she reached her hands under his shirt.


	18. Soft Anger

They didn’t get angry with each other too often. They would have little squabbles, sure, but there weren’t many big things to be angry about. They were happy together, with little to disagree about. 

The only thing they didn’t agree on was their future together. It was agreed that each wanted to be together forever, but they disagreed on how long “forever” was and in want form their relationship would be. 

Bella wanted forever to last truly forever, with no end in sight. She would become a vampire, do anything to stay with Edward. Everything he could offer her she wanted, as long as it came with immortality. It was worth it to her.

Edward didn’t fully agree. He wanted Bella as long as she would have it, but didn’t want her to have to change for him. Being with her for the duration of her human life wouldn’t be enough, would never be enough. But it would have to be. He wouldn’t let her change like that for him.

So it caused a bit of a disagreement for them. Each knew what the other wanted. It was there, at all times, in the back of their minds. Every time he kissed her, knowing how much more she wanted and how much more he couldn’t give her. Every time she got hurt due to her own clumsiness and he was there to help her, knowing if he would just change her it wouldn’t be like this. Each time she showed a new sign of aging, of changing, she knew he could stop it. Each time his eyes turned black with thirst and it seemed just a little harder to be around her. So many issues that could be solved if he would just agree, if she would just change her mind.

They tried not to bring it up too much, knowing it would just cause an argument. Neither would budge, not easily at least. Each had tried many times to sway the other, with little progress on either end. Bella brought up how dangerous her life was, how fragile she was as a human, how much she just wanted to be with him. Edward brought up his worry over her soul, the fach she could never see her human family or friends again, how much she would be giving up for him if she were to change. 

It all came to a head one night shortly after graduation. The rest of the Cullens had gone off hunting, leaving Edward and Bells truly alone for the first time in their relationship. 

Both were excited to have the alone time together, but wary for what it meant. Time was running out. Things would force their hand. They had to make a decision about their relationship, one way or the other. Regardless of the outcome, it would be decided tonight. 

Bella wanted to be with Edward in every possible way, and she wanted to be changed. Edward just wanted her to live a long, happy life. Preferably with him, but either way she wanted as long as she stayed human. Both continued to present their arguments. The same arguments they had used time and time again, but there was nothing new to say. It was an old problem that neither could solve, no matter how they tried to present their view. 

They had never before raised their voice at the other, never shouted or said unfair things. That changed tonight. Neither was proud, but it’s what happens when frustrations keep bubbling to the surface but are never allowed to pop. 

Eventually, they reached a tangled agreement. It wasn’t the best, but they would each get at least part of what they wanted. Bella had her ring, and Edward forever. She would eventually be changed whenever she was ready. Edward new Bella would be with him her whole life, even if it wasn’t in the exact form he wanted. Compromise was the only way. It was the best they could do.

After the anger, they couldn’t do anything except be with each other. It was near time for Bella to sleep anyway, so they climbed into the bed in Edward’s room. He had turned the heat up specifically for this night, leaving them to need only a thing blanket while they curled up together. Bella laid her head on Edward’s chest, preferring it even to the piles of pillows. He wrapped his arms around her, tracing small patterns on her back as she drifted off to sleep. He couldn’t help but think that there weren’t many more times he would get to do this.


End file.
